Bernard and I both dread mealtimes because it has turned into what we call “Showdown with Eleanor”. Meals usually end with Eleanor in tears and me leaving the room because I’m too upset as well. Basically she isn’t eating anything that we put on her plate.
Here are the foods that she will eat: milk, cheese, yogurt, cold cuts, cereal, pancakes, bagel, and snack crackers (goldfish, teddy grahams etc.) Note that it’s mostly breakfast and snack food. She will not touch any fruits or vegetables.
We’ve tried the following approaches to this problem:
- Insist that she eat what we give her to the point of crying, i.e. keep the fork in front of her mouth until she opens her mouth. This usually works for about three or four tearful bites. Then she starts screaming and spitting out the food.
- Give her the foods above that she will eat and forget about giving her a balanced diet.
- Put the food we want her to eat in front of her and wait for her to decide if she’s hungry enough to eat it or if she’d rather just say that dinner’s over. I can’t do this technique because she starts crying and saying, “Cheese, cheese, cheese”, and I usually give in.
- Bribe her bite by bite. I use this technique–Bernard doesn’t have the patience for it. She doesn’t understand, “Eat your rice and then you can have the treat”, so what I do is hold a tiny piece of cheese in one hand, and hold a forkful of food in the other hand. As she reaches for the cheese, I put the fork in front of her mouth and say, “Eat your rice. Eat your rice.” She resists a little but does seem to understand that if she eats the food we want her to eat, she can have the cheese. We do this bite-by-bite, i.e. one spoonful of rice, one piece of cheese until she’s had a few ounces of food. I’m worried that this technique is just reinforcing the idea that the food we give her is gross.
Just writing this blog entry is making me depressed. We don’t know what else to do.
Eleanor sounds like Theo, my 2 year old. That’s basically what he eats except he won’t eat cold cuts, he will eat hamburgers (only McDonalds) and peanut butter (I know you’re supposed to wait until they’re 3 or 4). Sometimes he will eat prunes, but I think that’s only because Isaac, his older brother, eats them. So it’s basically the same as Eleanor.
I’ve decided not to worry about it. I give him a Flintstone’s vitamin every day, and make sure he’s not constipated. Other than that I’m going to let it go. He healthy and growing. Isaac was pretty fussy too at his age and he’s gotten better now (he’s 3 and a half), he has a more varied diet. So maybe I have the benefit of seeing that kids do grow out of it.
If she’s healthy and growing, I wouldn’t worry so much about her diet at this point. It’s making you miserable. It sounds like she’s getting plenty of protein and calories!
Jessica
i would concur with jessica (tho i’ve not encountered this problem yet). what do the girls eat at daycare? ethan doesn’t eat much at dinner but eats a lot of various food at the babysitter. he definitely behaves and eats better at the babysitter. maybe she’s getting a lot of snacks before you pick her up so she’s not so hungry. so if she’s getting balanced meal at daycare, i wouldn’t sweat it.
It may be too early for this/too messy to attempt, but you could try leaving a plate of small pieces of fruits and vegetables out within their reach at times besides mealtimes. Little kids are such grazers.
The daycare diet would indeed also be worth looking into (though I’m sure you already know what they’re getting there). Owen (age 4) doesn’t eat all that much at night, but his daycare providers exclaim over how much he eats during he day! Eleanor (age 6) doesn’t eat so much during the day but eats a ton in the evening. Also, when they were younger, being at the table with other people seemed to help make them more interested in eating both more food and a wider variety of food. That’s not practical on an every-meal basis, of course, but how do they do if you have a big family meal on the weekends?
Jessica, it’s funny that Theo likes peanut butter a lot, too — must be in the genes.